I have to admit, it was the Idiotic Brother who goaded me into it. I’d heard there was a guy with the Carrboro Fire Department who has an old Massey Harris 44 and I mentioned it to the IB. He said, “Well there you go, a natural first road trip for the Pony.” Today I got up the courage and poured another gallon of gas in the Pony’s tank in preparation for the 4-mile round trip. As a precaution, I stuck Gary Talbert (my tow truck driver)’s phone number into my wallet and put my phone, wallet and the camera in the Pony’s handy glove box. I even brought the garage door opener with me and closed the door on my way down the drive.
I’m proud to say that the Pony didn’t let me down. He cruised over and back with no problems. And although the guy I was looking for had the day off, the Pony earned some other admirers during his visit. Here are a couple of photos.
While there, a guy came over and said he had an old Ford tractor to sell, and since one of the firemen was interested in getting an old tractor, they went off to discuss the matter and trade information. When the firemen came back he said the guy wanted $1000 and that he was going to go check it out. Oh man, I’m afraid the Pony and I may have sown some seeds of marital discord today. Sorry about that.
And now for a Chapter I’ll call: Stuff I’ve Invented
There’s a lot of stuff that I’ve invented over the years, not because I’m a Thomas Edison, but simply because over a lifetime you stumble on things. Here are a few examples.
1. One of my best ones was the “A” with no cross-bar. I came up with that one a couple of years ago. At some point it dawned on me that I was wasting time and effort, not to mention pencil lead and ink, by including the cross-bar. If one simply makes an inverted “V” there’s no other letter like that, so one can just assume its an A, but save a stroke.
2. A couple of weeks ago I was downstairs and noticed that The Princess had a pair of my shorts cued-up for ironing. Pieces of clothing in the cue I find, can remain there for anywhere from overnight to a few weeks. So, I thought why not lay the iron on top of the shorts while they’re in the cue. If the Princess stalls long enough they may not even need actual ironing. As it turns out the shorts were in the cue for several weeks what with the NYC trip getting in the way. When we got back that nasty “fly flap” on the front of the shorts (which always needs ironing) was laying down just as flat as you please. I’m calling this invention passive ironing.
3. Of course, who can forget my invention, the butt shave. Hey, I didn’t say they were all successful.
4. The Brucio, at Starbucks, a four-shot, grande Americano, but filled only to the tall line. A great “waker-upper” in the morning.
5. And while we’re on the subject of drinks, how about my invention, the Broken Toe? Sure, I broke my toe in the process of testing it, but it is a great drink, and it was only the one toe. Recipe: a generous shot of Beefeaters gin, equal amount of Campari, a slice of orange, and fill the rest of a tall glass with club soda.
6. Moving from drinks to eats, I invented the peach/blueberry pie (PBP). It’s like a peach pie only the handful of blueberries you put in gives it a little flavor twist and adds some nice color. I challenge anyone who’s had a piece of my PBP to come up with a tastier one! (full recipe on request).
7. The balanced meal. No, not that old balanced meal you were told about as a kid. I talked about this concept in my nutrition issue http://thatidiotictractor.com/2014/07/11/whose-fault-was-it/. To be one of my balanced meals all you need to do is keep the good things and the bad things in balance. For example, an apple (good) and a Snickers bar (bad) is a balanced meal. Even something like a martini is (by my rules) balanced, because it contains gin (bad), but olives (good). That’s why when The Princess and I order a martini at a restaurant or bar we ask that they leave out the vermouth, because that would be two bads and just one good.
8. The tractor diaper. Simply a large piece of corrugated cardboard, laid flat underneath the tractor. The box from a 40″ flat screen TV is perfect for a small tractor, but you’d want to use one from a 60″ for a big boy. If one of these doesn’t catch about 3-months worth of dripage, then you really screwed-up when you rebuilt that tractor.
9. Making art from “found objects” isn’t new, but as far as I know, I invented what I’m calling Clam-shell Art. My new series of pieces is made from the plastic things you get food in at the grocery, which are then filled with shredded paper and cut letters. Here’s one of my recent pieces.
Is this the ultimate result of a guy who’s finished his tractor restoration and has too much time on his hands? Or, do you think The Bruce Museum might give me a one-man show? You’re not really meant to answer these…I know the answers.
Have a nice weekend, and thanks for reading.