PONY 1, OSCAR 0
DR. FULLOFIT 23, SQUIRRELS 0
BLEEPING BUG 8, IDIOTIC AUTHOR 1 (lump)
BLUE BIRDS 1, CHICKADEES 0
Pony v. Oscar
In the game that pitted the Pony’s radiator against crack radiator technician, Oscar, at Bull City Radiator it was in the end an upset victory for the underdog Pony. You may recall that in last Friday’s post Oscar had taken a firm position after a purely visual inspection that the Pony’s radiator was a leaker. Oscar proceeded to give that radiator everything he could, including a thorough flushing, and a pressure test and in the end the shop had to give in. There was a phone message waiting for me Monday afternoon from Corky at the shop stating almost apologetically that they couldn’t get the radiator to leak, and that I could come pick it up. I headed right over to the shop, backed the car in and out came Oscar cradling the winning radiator. I told him that since he called it wrong he had to have his picture taken with the winner, so here you go.
I probably should’ve taken a “before” shot, but rest assured this radiator looks a lot better here with Oscar than it did when I dropped it off. As you can see it’s even been given a shiny black coat of paint. Cost-O-Meter impact: $77.00.
Dr. v. Squirrels
For the Dr v. Squirrels game, Dr. Fullofit was kind enough to send the following game summary.
The Last Resort Pony Clinic is nestled in a small grove of pine trees. The birds love it in this area, and we decided to put out some sun flower seeds for all birds to enjoy. The birds took to the seeds like camels to water and unfortunately, so did the squirrels! In one week we went through 25 pounds of seeds. Ethyl Gotgas, my anesthesiologist, suggested we invest in an animal trap, so she could send them off to the clouds via a bottle of chloroform she keeps in the cupboard. Other staff members explained to Ethyl that our clinic is here to save lives and therefore, we invested in a small animal trap and initiated our official “Squirrel Relocation Program.” Within a week, we took 22 seed eaters for a five-mile ride in the clinic’s brand new 2011 Honda CR-V hatchback (shameless, unpaid product placement) and released them at Ethyl’s dad’s old rutabaga farm.
One enormous squirrel evaded capture for another five weeks, but, today he took the bait, and we all celebrated with high-5’s. I’m sure this guy had been pumping iron and taking steroids his whole life, lacking only a Spandex suit! I spread out a plastic sheet in the CR-V cargo hold (so he couldn’t get even with a pee job), plopped in the trap containing Super Squirrel, and it was off to the farm. Super’ was not a happy prisoner, squawking and squealing all the way and driving us crazy. At the farm, Ethyl put the trap on the ground. Super was running around in there like a caged animal (what else). Ethyl opened the trap door a quarter of an inch and Super blew out of there like shot from a cannon, toe nails burning, and beatin’ feet like a scalded dog. He covered about 20 feet and, I swear, we all heard a squirrlic boom (like a sonic boom only fuzzier). Super flew over the furrows like a blazing rocket, and this is the truth, after covering over 100 yards, we all heard a second boom as he decelerated below mach 1 to take his first breath.
We’re all back at the clinic now, celebrating our victory and enjoying the birds.
Truth be said, the relocation program was a blast and in a way we’ll miss our furry little friends. Still, we’re crossing our fingers they don’t have “spd’s,” (squirrel positioning devices) to find their way back.
Bug v. Idiotic Author
In this one it was really no contest, as the IA had no defense. About a mile from home on the “morning 40” bike ride Sunday, I felt something itching inside my jersey. I scratched for a while, but in the end forgot about it. I didn’t think more about it until Sunday night when I took my shirt off and saw a bunch of red dots. I’m not sending a picture, but these babies continued to redden and itch and eventually looked a lot like the constellation Andromeda and covered about eight inches around my waist. By Monday night I was concerned enough to do a full body inspection, and when I peered around in the mirror to my back, saw a soft, swollen area. What the $&^%? Tuesday, off to the doctor first thing, but not to worry said the Doc (not Fullofit). Those red dots, yup, insect bites, and the puffy swollen thing, a lipoma (fancy word for lump of fat). This really explained a lot, as I’ve always wondered where all my fat was. I’m apparently wearing it in a hump on my back. I’ll let you know when it begins to affect my aerodynamics on the bike.
Blue birds v. Chickadees
Remember this one? Back in the spring there were skirmishes between these competing teams over which would get residence in our bluebird house. This one was up for grabs for a long time, and we didn’t really know what was going on until fairly recently. But a very persistent and crafty pair of blue birds now reside in the house and are busily bringing insects (not enough though) to their babies.
So that’s your sports report for today. But in late-breaking tractor news, on this gorgeous 80-degree day, I took a trip out to Gene’s to do a little work on the Pony. I installed the pinion cap and new gasket on the transmission face, applying liberal amounts of “black velvet” gasket sealer to both sides before the tighten-up. Next trip out, we’ll install the drive shaft cotter pin and try to pull the Pony’s two halves back together. That may be a testy job, so stay tuned.
Thanks to you “Yankees” up north for sending us three days of dry, cool air and hey, thanks for reading too.