Green Card…or Prove it Princess!

Thursday The Princess and I made what has become our monthly trip (60 mi round trip) to Siler City, NC.  I think there are more Tractor shops and stores in that town per capita than anyplace else in North Carolina.  I mention that, because I walked into a tractor retailer down there called Clapp Brothers (sounds like there should be a joke there), and when I walked-up to the counter the guy told me I must be in the wrong place.  I looked at him quizzically for a moment before the guy continued, “…at least if that t-shirt you’re wearin’ means anything.  Oh yeah, I forgot that I was wearing my Massey Harris Authorized Service t-shirt.  He continued, “You probably want Black’s Tractor.”
“Where’s that?”
“Not going to tell you.”
More comedians.

At Black’s I did get a new felt dust seal for the Pony’s distributor, but also showed him a spring that goes inside the distributor.  He said that it had been discontinued, whereupon I was dumb enough to say, “What am I gonna do.” 
“Dont break that one.” 
I’m tellin ya, that whole town thinks its funny.

On the way down there we saw another one of those home-made, hand painted signs in the front yard of an old farm-house.  Just four words:
STEAL HERE, MEET GOD.  Wow, how’s that for brevity.  I’m thinkin’ that guy could do one of my thousand-word posts in maybe 25 words.  But really, he is good; look at all you get from just four words.
1.  As I said, he’s concise, probably has a BA in English from a way better school than I went to.
2.  He’s got stuff that’s worth stealing (probably shouldn’t have tipped us off to that).
3.  He’s a believer and likely favors the old testament over the new.
4.  This one is a guess, but as his alarm he has big, mean, ugly loud-mouth dog that runs faster than the wind and can clamp his jaws around your ankle for about a week.
4.  He’s got a fire arm and is a crack shot (or crackpot, or both).
5.  He means business.
Of course, this could all be a bluff, but I don’t think I’d mess with the guy.

Do you folks know what irony is?  To me it’s always been that funny taste that well water has.  Well live and learn.  I was sitting at the table eating lunch and reading an electronic book on my iPad.  The Princess looked over and said, “There’s some real irony.”  I looked up with a question on my face.  “You know, you’re reading an e-book on a iPad and to prop it up so you can read it, you’ve got an actual book under it, and to top it off, it’s Shakespeare!”  I still looked a question, but she just said “nevermind.”  Like I said, it wasn’t a very good school.  Just to finish this part off, the book I was reading was excellent, A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson.  It’s non-fiction and recounts the efforts of two “couch potatoes” to walk the Appalachian Trail.  It’s always interesting and often hilarious.

I’ve always refrained from saying anything about The Princess’s age, but I think you’ll get a pretty good idea of it when I say that last week we started looking into getting her signed-up for Medicare.  We started going through the on-line application on the Social Security web site, but after about three pages of input, we got a message that said something like, STOP NOW, YOU ARE NOT ELIGIBLE TO USE THIS APPLICATION.  CALL OUR TOLL FREE NUMBER FOR GUIDANCE.  What the heck!  So, we called, and the long and short of it is that unless The Princess can prove that she is married…TO ME…her medicare sugar daddy, she’s outa luck.  We also have to go in to the Social Security office for an interview (it’s next Monday), and we were told we’d need to bring along our marriage certificate.

Thus began a long and fruitless search for our official marriage certificate, that’s the one issued by the government, not the cutesy, flowery thing the church gave us.  Now I’m just a bit concerned that we’re facing a scene reminiscent of the one in the movie Green Card where we have to tell good enough a story,  that they’ll believe we’re married.  The Princess claims she’s not concerned.  Her “ace in the hole,” so to speak is to just say, “Look at him, do you think I’d still be with him, if we weren’t married?”  Boy, that hurts!

Just a little Pony activity, mostly thinking and shopping.  The thinking part involved me figuring out that there is a bunch of unused thread in the Pony’s engine block that could hold a head bolt, if only we had a longer bolt.  We believe we have a solution to that, but I’ll fill you in on that in the next post.  As for the shopping, in addition to the $1 felt dust seal for the distributor, I bought a few more Pony-related items today.  I talked to my Parts Detective, Maggie, up at Kuhn’s, and she’s sending me a new head gasket, an oil filter for my refurbished oil filter canister and new radiator cap.  Oh, there was also $20 worth paint from Tractor Supply.  So, that’ll all spin the Cost-O-Meter up another $78; I don’t know, but to me that’s pretty cheap entertainment.

Could y’all find your marriage certificates if you had to? 
Oh, and here’s a photo of last week’s “sign of the week.”

Have a great week-end everyone, and thanks for reading.

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2 responses to “Green Card…or Prove it Princess!

  1. Once again your blog made me laugh out loud! Keep ’em coming. Barb E. enjoyed the copies of some of your blogs. I’m attending my H.S. 50th class reunion tomorrow. Yikes, that makes me an old codger! Happy belated anniversary to you and Cindy. Enjoyed seeing the wedding photo you posted. Cindy looked like a doll (or, as you would say, princess).

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