Goldilocks Buys a Bed, The “Rest” of the Story

Did you know that in the original Goldilocks fairy tale there was no Goldilocks?  Neither were there a father, a mama and a baby bear.  As originally published in the 1830’s the story involved a disgusting, ugly, fowl-mouthed old hag and three bachelor bears.  Over many years the story evolved to the one we all know with a pretty, little, golden-haired girl and a family of bears.  This all courtesy of Wikipedia.  It strikes me that this is another example of Darwin’s theory of evolution.  A story that might have otherwise become “extinct,”  evolved and, therefore, survived.

In a similar fashion, the American shopper has evolved.  A shopper could not survive today without the ability to stay-up late, wait  in line, pay with credit or debit cards and be adept at using kung foo techniques and pepper spray.  But I digress.  I used no such techniques in my quest for the perfect bed.  During the last episode, if you recall, I had returned bed number two to Macy’s and was granted a third chance to get one that, as the Goldilocks story goes,  was “just right.”

This time I really worked at it.  During my working years, when we did acquisitions, we called this process “due diligence.”  I made a trip back to the store, I lay on almost every bed, and gradually narrowed-down the field.  When I found what I thought was the right one, I lay on it until I actually dozed-off.  But feeling so “snake-bit” after my first two mistakes, I decided to leave the store, and come back another day to make sure of my decision.  I went back several days later, and The Princess came along.  I lay on the beds some more while she shopped.  One pair of boots later she showed-up in bedding wanting the credit card.  I took the opportunity to get her onto the bed…careful…just to get another opinion.  She said, it was “ok,” so, after that additional input, I “pulled the trigger,”  and drum roll……….The bed I finally bought was a:
Simmons,
Beautyrest Black,
Dual-Overhead Cam,
Natalia,
Pillow-top,
Plush,
with a low-profile box spring.  Goodness knows we want to keep a low profile while using the thing.
The mattress has a cashmere top and the clincher for me, my initials, BB, embroidered all over it.  Naturally, it cost $1000 more than the first bed I bought, so instead of stuffing money under the mattress (which is way better than the stock market these days) I just invested more in it. 

Well, it arrived a few days ago, and after sleeping on it for a few nights, is it “just right?”  Nah, it’s just another bed, a little bit better than the first two.  I’m sure any guests that dare visit after hearing this story will be very comfortable, but as for me, I’m convinced that like the Pony, I was born to sleep standing up!

And what a sleep for the Pony!  Going out on a limb here, but after Rip Van Pony’s 20-plus year snooze, we’re going to try waking him up on December 10.  That’s the date Gene and I are going to try to start the engine.  Anyone who wants to be there for this milestone in the Pony’s restoration, you are welcome.  Just know that there are no guarantees.  As a matter of fact, with the Pony’s track record, I’m going to be dang surprised if he cooperates.  But, if you’re coming, send me an email, or leave me a comment on the blog, and I’ll send you directions.  I’m going to set up the camera too, so those of you who can’t make it will hopefully see video in a future post.  Speaking of the camera, The Princess did the camera work on the shot below.

Yes, that’s Baby Bear, and he’s wondering who the idiot is in his bed.  Of course it’s the idiotic author, just after waking up from a dream in which the Pony’s engine is running.  Good omen! 
Thanks for reading.

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