The Pony’s 2011 Christmas Letter

Hello again Pony lovers.  Can you believe it?  Another year shot to hell, but more on that later.  I am so thankful to your Idiotic Author for at least this once-a-year opportunity to write to you personally, to let you know how I feel and to debunk some of the stuff he has written over the last 12 months.  All that leaking…not my fault!  The finger injury…not my fault either.  Just cus I’m in the neighborhood when stuff happens, that doesn’t make it my fault.  Ok, enough, sorry, this is going down hill fast, and I’ve got more control than that.

Let’s start over.  Merry Christmas!  What a wonderful time of year.  Of course, that’s a human thing.  We tractors don’t celebrate Christmas.  I mean, it’s a fine holiday and all, and there are the presents.  Thanks for the underpants, I mean muffler, Bruce.  And Jesus, he was a fine person (and son), but not much of a tractor guy.  No, we tractors celebrate a different holiday, Deeremas.  That’s right, John Deere was born on February 7, 1804.  All of us tractors, whether Deere’s or not, look up to him as the person who invented the steel plow, thus vastly expanding farming in the midwest and eventually opening the way for zillions of tractors to pull them.  Personally, the green color of a Deere tractor makes me nauseous, but I don’t hold that against him.  Here’s a joke we tractors tell.  What does a tractor shout while making love?  Oh Deere, oh Deere!  But seriously, nothing may “run like a Deere,” but when the going really gets tough, a Pony doesn’t run (Idiotic Authors note:  hmmm), he stands his ground.  I’ve been doing that “in spades,” also in the woods, for over 20 years.  Anyway, mark February 7 on your calendars, and do something nice for a tractor that day.

Back to ME and MY year.  It was a true Pony red-letter day when fathers and sons and friends turned out in October to move my motor from Bruce’s garage back out to my chassis at Gene’s.  Here’s a shot of the action.  What the heck are they all looking for?  Hope it wasn’t anything I need!  After a lot of grunting and groaning and near catastrophes, my engine was finally back in place.  And no one’s toes got flattened.  It was just a few weeks after this momentous day that Gene got the brilliant idea of moving me into his garage.  Gene hooked up his little garden tractor to my front end, and with Bruce standing at my wheel, we cruised up into the garage.  Here’s a shot taken on that move day.

Once in the garage, progress moved right along.  Everything seemed to be going great until the day Gene and Bruce poured coolant in my radiator and gas in the tank.  No need to dwell on this, but Bruce missed a few things during the rebuild, so now he’s playing “little Dutch boy” and trying to stop the leaks.  That day, my goodness, I thought he was going to blow-up Gene’s garage.  The gasoline fumes were horrific!  I’m telling you, to rely on him, man that’s frightening.  But like so much in life, you take the hand your dealt, play it for all it’s worth and hope for the best.

I don’t really need to recap all the painstaking details of the restoration progress during the last year.  Your Idiotic Author has done a whole bunch of “posts” keeping you up-to-date as things progressed.  Anytime you can’t sleep and need something for it, just go to his web page and click on the days of each month that are highlighted.  You’ll feel sleepy in no time.

Ok, time for a little Pony philosophy, a few thoughts to wrap up the year and carry with you into the next.
1.  There are no bad Ponies, only bad owners of Ponies.
2.  Life ain’t always easy, but you really don’t want easy.  Without struggle, without challenge, without knowing pain, without suffering loss, without having discovered that you survive these things and move on the richer for them, what would you have learned?  Who would you be?
3.  It’s not that the Pony is stubborn, the Pony owner just lacks patience.
4.  The Princess assumes the worst while Bruce figures that generally things will work out.  If he’s not so sure of that, he’ll stick his head in the sand.  Most mornings when he wakes up, there’s sand in the bed.
5.  You can walk around depressed all the time, but if your still walking isn’t that pretty great?
6.  There’s been a lot of press recently about how scientists may be on the verge of finding the elusive Higgs boson, or “God Particle,” over there in Switzerland.  Their method is to keep smashing stuff into other stuff and see what falls out.  Hell, Gene (he’s a physicist) and Bruce could do that if they just had that one tool Gene doesn’t have yet, a Large Hadron Collider (LHD). 
The way I understand it, way back in time, even before I came out of the factory in 1952, after “the big bang,” creation began as particles passed through the Higgs field and interacted with bosons.  Theoretically these bosons added mass and, in essence, turned nuthin into sumthin.  Just think of The Higgs field as a gigantic Sara Lee factory, a boson as a brownie and the particle passing through the Higgs field as you.  Mass? oh you betcha!  Bit of a family joke here, Jim, what if instead of the boson, they find the elusive “woyon” instead?  No mass, but plenty annoying.  Note:  Thanks to Bruce’s blog you can now find a scientific explanation of woyon by doing a Google search on the word.  It’s amazing, but the word woyon has now become a part of the American lexicon!
7.  Finally, in spite of my reputation as kind of a “snot,” I want you all to know that I appreciate your thoughts.  I know you’re pulling for me, and I thank you so much for your support.  I’ve got good feelings about 2012.  I’ll leave you with this shot of me sitting in Gene’s garage.  Let’s remember to compare this to the shot of me that we take next summer when the restoration is done.  Author’s note:  I know, I know, letting the Pony have carte blanche once in a while is dangerous.  He’s kind of all over the place, and his honesty can cut deep, but what you read above is unedited by me.

The Pony has allowed me to do the sign-off, and since I’ve got the keyboard now I thought that no list should have just 7 items, so here are a few straight from me.
8.  If you eat one 74% chocolate truffle each day it won’t do a thing for your health, but it will allow you to face anything that comes along with a smile.  Go to MieleBonBons.com.  This is a Pony-approved site.
9.  Do something next year you’ve never done before.  This summer for biking I shaved my legs for the first time.  Holy cow, the placebo effect alone allowed me to go 10% faster.  The Princess kind a liked it too!
10.  Stop philosophising.  Just keep working and you may be rewarded for it…maybe not….  You know the meaning of life?…neither do I.

Happy holidays everyone.  Thanks so much for reading.

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One response to “The Pony’s 2011 Christmas Letter

  1. As always, a great post!! Merry Christmas to Bruce, Cindy, the Pony and all of the faithful readers!!

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