Hog Trap!

The Princess and I were discussing something recently.  I don’t remember the exact subject, but so much these days is a mess, and you can count on The Princess to know a lot about just about everything.  She has her sources.  Her problem is though that when she hears troubling things she does not do what I do.  I just shove my head so far down in the sand that I can’t see, can’t hear, hell the only reason I ever come up is that I can’t breathe.  She instead ponders these problems, frets over them and in general lets them ruin her day.  In fact, The Princess’s brain functions something like a black hole, sucking in all the “dark matter” that comes near it.  You should thank her; she’s sparing you a lot of grief.  So it shouldn’t surprise you that during some of her soul-searching, with the weight of the universe on her royal shoulders, it just came out of her, “It’s a pain in the ass to be me.”  Isn’t that precious?

Another great thing about the Princess is her ability to innovate.  Discussing an issue recently she might have said it was “Clap Trap,” or “Hog Wash,” but instead out popped “Hog Trap.”  If this one enters the American Lexicon in the near future you’ve got The Princess to thank for it.  I’ve really gotta agree with her on that one though.  You hear a lot of stuff lately that could and should only trap a hog! 

Like  the QVC announcer we heard this week that said that a certain cosmetic product “…literally turned the world upside down!”  Really?  Literally?  That must of been that day last week when I heard the strange whooshing sound.  Now you’re probably saying how would the idiotic author know what’s going on at QVC.  Listen folks, in my efforts to bring you entertainment I’ll stop at nothing.  Actually, both The Princess and I are strangely mesmerized by QVC.  We often will switch over to that channel during commercials.  When they start going on about how the Dimonique ring (that’s so sparkly it could attract aliens from outer space) is in short in supply and that there are only 567,000 left, my trigger finger gets itchy and I’m tempted to pick up the phone.  Of course, my being mesmerized has a lot to do with hot lookin’ Lisa who sells junk during prime time most evenings.  Wow, I could watch her sell waffle irons; actually I do!  I refer to her affectionately as “the babe.” 

Best thing we ever bought from QVC:  a goofy thing that looks like a pen and runs on two AA batteries.  It clips hair from hard to get at places.  I’ll bet you old guys out there know the answer to the next question.  What hairs you got that grow the fastest?  That’s right, ear hair!  Well that little pen-sized marvel works like a dream on that stuff.  I’ll bet Lisa would love to see me using it.

Hey what’s up with the Pony this week?  I’ve got to admit I’ve been side-tracked, but I’ll be getting out to see the old boy (I’m talkin’ about the Pony, not Gene) in the next few days.  Gene and I were doing a sustained run about a week ago to see if just letting it run for an hour or so would help valves and rings seat and give us improved compression.  It started to get kind of messy though, because oil was leaking from the hydraulic pump, which is up at the front of the engine, and the fan was throwing the leaking oil all over the place.  Then at the half hour mark, oil started flying out the top of the oil filter canister, and we had to cut the test short.  Now I’ve got to go in and find the source of the leaks.  I’ve already drained and pulled the radiator (again!), and next I’m going to pull the hydraulic pump and try to get to the bottom of the leaking.  On the oil filter, I’m hoping that just inserting a better gasket and retightening the oil canister top will take care of that leak.  You can understand my lack of enthusiasm for this “one step forward, two steps back” baloney.

Also Pony-related is some shameless advertising, cloaked as a good deed.  I made a donation to WCPE, The Classical Station, at a level that earned me the right to make an on air dedication.  This radio station plays all classical music, 24/7.  It’s perfect for my “head in the sand” way of life, because when I say all classical music I mean ALL CLASSICAL MUSIC!  They don’t even bother you with all that nasty news.  This great little station is not connected with NPR, takes no government funds and survives solely on funds from listeners and a few local underwriters.  Well, and now they’ve taken some funds from ThatIdioticTractor.com.  They broadcast here locally out of Wake Forest, but can be heard worldwide from your computer.  So, in addition to generally checking them out and enjoying their great programming, try to catch some of it on March 26.  That’s the day that they will be playing a dedication to the Pony at roughly 9:00 am, 2:00 pm, 5:oo pm and 9:00 pm in celebration of his first engine start.  I can’t wait to see what the WCPE bump will do for visits to the Pony’s blog.  Gene and I always play WCPE in the garage when working on the Pony; he (the Pony) finds it soothing.  Here’s the link:  The Classical Station.org.

Oh, let’s see, we need a picture.  How about showing-off the Princess’s latest creations.

These are the first motorcycles she’s done.  They’re “Duckaties” and were a gift for friends Art and Joy.
Thanks for reading!

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2 responses to “Hog Trap!

  1. No, I do not think you strange for watching QVC. It is mesmerizing how they can talk about the attributes of any item with such glowing verbiage. Deb and I prefer Jewelry Television ( jtv.com ). Our favorite is Dawn. How they can talk about nothing for hours is fascinating…..and you are right, they all use the word “literally” and “minimum”. I used to watch Jim and Tammy Baker for similar reasons. It is amazing how persuasive all of them are. They all have quite a following. They become “friends” with the viewers.
    Cousin Bill

  2. Hi Bruce,
    Thanks for showing the Duckaties! They have a place of honor in our livingroom. Art and I love them. Cindy did a fabulous job.
    I’m embarrassed to say I flip to QVC all the time. And yes, Lisa is a babe.
    Joy

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