Ode to the Vidalia

Some people are quick-witted.  You know… you think you’ve just said something sage, or cute, or whatever, and they come back in a flash with a truly devastating come-back.  I got whacked with two of those recently, so I’m starting to doubt myself.  The first one…a professional dog service was taking care of the neighbor’s dog recently.  One day when the young lady was leaving the front door to take the dog on a walk, I said, “Hey, how about taking me for a walk.”  Right back she says, “Sure, get your leash!”  Ouch.  This next one really hurts, because it’s The Princess that got me.  We were talking about how great the Vidalia onions are this time of year, and I said that to truly enjoy them I’d decided that from now on I’d eat a big, thick, raw slice on all of my liverwurst sandwiches.  Her comeback, “So I guess you’ve given up on ever having sex again?”   Hey, it’s just a little raw onion for crying out loud…and they’re Vidalias.

Here’s one I got from a friend.  Sunday service was about to begin at church.  Very few seats were left, but there appeared to be a single seat open on a pew near the front.  The late-comer leaned in and whispered, “Is that seat saved?”  Without missing a beat, the man in the pew looked over and said, “Well no, but Reverend Roy hasn’t even started to preach.”

Speaking of things marital, The Princess and I celebrated our 44th wedding anniversary July 5th.  We were having some inane argument later in the week and I finally stopped and said, “You know we’ve been doing that for 44 years, unbelievable”…and it was enough that we both stopped and laughed.  My parents had a nice long marriage.  Talk about planned parenthood, they had 3 children, all boys, and spaced them three years apart.  I suppose this assured that each kid would be potty trained and out of diapers before the next one came along to use them.  Hand-me-down diapers, yuck!  Having the IB precede me through each school I attended was no treat either.  Every teacher had a preconceived notion about my capabilities.  Suffice to say, they were not high.

But back to family planning, a few days ago, I got an email from the Idiotic Brother which shed new light on the extreme to which all this family planning was taken.  Take a look at this photo.

Bruce's twin revised

The IB says this is proof that I have a twin brother and that mom and dad sold my twin in order to keep the family plan intact.  This is amazing and jeez, mom, you almost got away with it.  Wondering how you decided which one to sell.  Just guessing, but I suppose you kept the better looking one.  The similarity is uncanny, and the fact that this was taken in a Taco Bell…well I love TB.  I wouldn’t be caught dead in the clothes he’s got on, but this is the kind of thing that creeps in when you take a guy out of his intended environment.  Jim, you didn’t tip him off did you?  I don’t think I could stand another “left coast” brother.

And on the bug front
Why me?  Last year it was chiggers, then earlier this year it was ticks, and finally this week I got stung by the meanest bee on earth.  Look at this.

bee sting

That’s what my forearm looked like after a bee stung me while I was out doing the morning 40 on Thursday.  Man, that sucker really stung.  I tried getting a little sympathy at my volunteer gig on Friday, and I noticed that generally women were neither impressed nor too sympathetic, whereas the guys were more interested.  Just wondering, are women dismissive of men’s pain, because guys are wimps, or is it because women feel they have the market cornered on true pain?  I may see if Dr. Reinhold would like to weigh-in on this in the next post.  The Princess was incredibly helpful.  She looked-up homeopathic remedies for bee sting, and found that rubbing the sting with raw onion was purported to be effective.  Well of course she’d recommend that…THE VIDALIAS STRIKE AGAIN!

Pony Baloney
You may have the impression that there isn’t much left to do on the Pony, but there’s still quite a lot.  I’ve scrubbed, scraped, sanded, wire-brushed and primed the right rear hub area.  Pictures in the next post.  I’ve got the final coat of red paint on a whole bunch of parts.  See below.

parts ready to reinstall

And I started work on the right, rear wheel.  After just a couple of hours of work, I got it looking like this.

back wheel after sanding

So, it looks like I won’t need to drag these heavy things out to the sandblaster after all.

I’ll leave you with this:

The bee’s stinger shoots out to impale ya,
With great swelling and pain in the area,
But the remedy’s in,
The odoriferous skin,
Of God’s perfect onion, the Vidalia.

Have a great week everyone.  Thanks for reading.


One response to “Ode to the Vidalia

  1. Hello stumbled on your blog one day and it sounds so much like what my husband John is going thur with his 52 pony. He would love to talk to you about how you got the fluid stopped from leaking around the head bolts. email me if you can memeof3@bellsouth.net

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