Monthly Archives: December 2014

The Pony Speaks Out on Torture

Happy Holidays everyone from The Princess, the Pony and me.  Can you believe it, it’s been 5 Christmases now since Andy and I first spotted the Pony back in the woods.  To celebrate the holiday this year I decided to surprise the Pony by having his distributor rebuilt.  In fact, since day-one of my ownership, the distributor has never worked.  Gene and I just kept a battery charger handy and whenever I wanted to start the engine, I’d call Gene the night before and ask him to put the cables on the battery first thing in the morning.

Just before Thanksgiving I took the generator out to Alamance Starter and Alternator, a shop in Burlington, NC (you may recall the town, also the home of Paul’s Donuts…how convenient!).  A couple of weeks later they called and I picked-up a virtually new generator, mostly new guts, then sand-blasted and repainted, truly a Doc Fullofit job.  Here are some photos.

The shot of the gauges was taken while the engine was running.  The interesting thing is that now, not only does amp-meter show that the battery is charging, but for the first time the oil pressure gauge is working, and wonder of wonders, it reads that the Pony is NORMAL!  When has the Pony EVER been normal?  Added to the C-O-M as a result of the rebuild:  $117, I thought not so bad, especially considering the side benefits of two trips to that donut shop and two fill-ups of the Camry’s tank at cheaper Burlington gas prices.

Before I gave the Pony his Christmas generator, he had been in quite a “lather” over the recent revelations concerning the U.S. use of torture.  First, he wanted it made clear that he speaks from the unique position having endured torture.  Twenty years of solitary confinement (in the woods) followed by over four years of abuse by an amateur mechanic certainly qualifies as cruel and unusual punishment and qualifies him to speak with authority on the subject.

Second, he wanted me to help him get a new Nobel Prize category started for Best Euphemism of the Year.  He feels hands down the award should go to the phrase “enhanced interrogation technique” and that I should receive it, because I performed it so effectively on him.

Third, he said the CIA doesn’t know beans about torture.  He claimed that if you really want results all you need to do is put the subject in line at Trader Joe’s for say 12 hours, all the while playing Burl Ives “Holly Jolly Christmas” over the PA system.  You’ll get the poor devil to spill everything from his devious little brain in return for stopping this torture…I mean, enhanced interrogation.  I have to agree with the Pony on that one.  A week ago I had the misfortune of hearing that tune before leaving on “the morning 40,” and I absolutely could not get it out of my brain for the entire 3-hour ride.  Even if I consciously tried to substitute other songs, it would creep right back.  I know, you’ll say that “Little Drummer Boy” is a far worse Christmas song, and the Pony and I agree, but for some reason it doesn’t have the ability to drive you nuts for hours like old Burl’s tune does.

Today, after the morning 40 and on a gorgeous 60 degree day, The Princess and I took a walk up the hill for our 2014 Christmas pictures.

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IMG_0815aAnd in keeping with the theme of this post, I’ll leave you with this musical treat:  click here.  You can click out of the ad that pops up first.

Have a wonderful holiday season, and thanks for reading.