A Beer and a Bump

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Poinsettia, 2015/2016

I start with a point of etiquette, I know, this from the guy who in his last post blogged about his butt.  But putting that behind (oops) us, here’s my question, when is the appropriate time to chuck that Christmas poinsettia?  Is it January 1?  How about one month post Christmas?   Ground Hog day?  Two months?  The photo above is our poinsettia after having it in the house for about 3 months.  Look how happy it is.  I think we bought it at Walmart (they always have nice ones) for about 12 bucks, so we have certainly gotten our money’s worth out of it.  Honestly, to throw out a perfectly healthy plant, I’d kind of feel like a murderer, really.  So I need some help here.  Who’s willing to go out on a limb and recommend an execution date for this happy, healthy, vibrant plant?  Anyone out there have the guts to do that?

Speaking of that last post.  After reading it, my mom provided some enlightening information.  She said that when she was an adolescent she was told that an abscess was God’s way of letting sins out of the body.  My goodness, those Lutherans!  I’m telling you, if that’s truly the case I’m due for an unholy rash of those things.  And I’m going to have to take another look at the paper work they gave me after my last appointment.  I thought for sure it said “return for excision,” but now I don’t know, maybe it said “return for exorcism.”

You know those “push notifications” you get on your mobile devices?  I agreed to receive them from a number of places, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, a few others.  I did not sign-up to receive them from The Princess.  Here’s how it works.  I’m in the living room and she’s back in her bedroom listening to radio or TV.  Every now and then she’ll pop her head out the door and say something like, “Chris Christy dropped-out of the race,” or “Republican debate, oh my god, ‘You’re a liar, no you’re a liar, no you are!'”  I actually do appreciate it though.  I don’t listen to anything, so her listening to all that garbage and giving me her brief “Princess Notifications” is perfect.

The Princess, what an endless source of fun. Today she was sitting at the table eating lunch when she looked across the room and said, “Where’s the vacuum cleaner, oh there it is, good.”
“I see, so today’s chore was to find the vacuum cleaner?”
“Well, yeah…tomorrow I’ll vacuum.”

Can you tell, this is one of those posts where I got nuttin, just little dribs and drabs that have accumulated over the last few weeks.  The Pony’s been out under a big blue tarp at Gene’s because the stall next to him was being used as a staging area for all of his daughter and son-in law’s earthly possessions until the movers came to move everything to their new house.  The movers took it all away last week, but no Pony news just yet.

I’ve seen a lot of animals while out on the “morning 40,” many of which I’ve mentioned in this blog.  After over 25 years of riding though, there isn’t much I haven’t seen.(1)  Remember the lucky (ha!) three owls in a tree?  So, it was a big deal to me last week when running along the road out near Saxapahaw I saw a medium-sized black pig.  When he saw me, he jumped, so I think he was as surprised as I was.  As I rode off it ocurred to me that what I’d just seen was a “road hog.”

I didn’t mention it, but back at the beginning of February we flew up to NYC on a brief Princess Art Trip.  Two visits to the Museum of Modern Art and one to the Whitney, some fabulous dinners, shopping and, of course a chance to catch up with our son, Andy, and the “grand cats,” Buddy and Junior.

Version 2

Synchronized Napping

That’s the two of them doing what they do best.  When I saw this photo, immediately that goofy Olympic sport, synchronized swimming, came to mind.

When we got home, it was back to reality.  The phone answering machine was flashing, four messages, all from doctors and dentists offices.  Many items in the fridge past their ex-dates, worst one, a Real Lemon juice container, over TWO YEARS past its date.  Can’t blame that one on the trip.  And of course the daily grind:  When will the inspiration for the next blog post hit me (apparently not yet)?  How will I finagle another infusion for the Guinea Pig-O-Meter (stay tuned, news coming soon on that)?  Will I be able to retain my Gold Card status with Starbucks in their new rewards program (oh, yeah)?  Will I win the next Mega-Ball Lottery drawing (I’m getting closer, matched one number last week)?  And then there are those worrisome new injections of the osteoporosis drug.

I started right out injecting myself once a night.  Something I hadn’t banked on though, was how it would go, given my jittery hands (I’ve got essential tremor).  During the first week alone, once I jabbed the needle in twice, on another occasion I picked up an inch long scratch and once I somehow managed to poke the needle into my finger.  I’ve stopped worrying though; through trial and error I’ve discovered that if I give myself the shot after cocktail hour the shaking is much reduced and I can smoothly jab it right in.  Over at the Sidetrack Tap they call that “a beer and a bump.”

On that note, I’m outa here.  Have fun with your extra day tomorrow and thanks for reading.

(1)  An off the cuff listing of critters seen while biking (in no particular order):  wild turkey, chicken, hawks (various), bald eagle, osprey, king fisher, bobcat, turkey vulture, black vulture, fox, horses (including miniature), black bear, grizzly bear (Canadian Rockies), long horn sheep (Glacier National Park), owl, cows of many varieties including some shaggy, long-horned ones, deer, goat, rabbit, opossum, skunk (including that albino one) squirrel, chipmunk, copper head snake, black snake, garter snake, rat, ground hog, ostrich and buffalo (back in Indiana), way too many dogs and cats, turtles, frogs and one road hog.





One response to “A Beer and a Bump

  1. Good one Bruce. After you have done with the butt jokes, the humor has improved I find..My suggestion for the poinsettia – save the twelve dollars this year and keep them for Christmas.

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